Good News! The Problems We Think We Have Aren't Real

• 00:04 I've got some good news for all of you.
• 00:07 But first, let's step back for a moment.
• 00:09 We all know that sometimes there's perception, sometimes there's reality.
• 00:13 They might be exactly aligned, but they may be skewed.
• 00:17 So for example, my perception is that I will never become a star professional
• 00:23 basketball player for the NBA, the National Basketball Association.
• 00:28 My perception of that, it's because I'm too slow.
• 00:33 I'm too old.
• 00:35 I don't shoot well enough, and I'm that shy of 6'0, I'm not tall enough.
• 00:42 That is my perception of why I'm never going to be a star in the NBA.
• 00:49 Well, it turns out that my perception of my
• 00:52 flaws are exactly aligned with the reality.
• 00:56 Those are real flaws.
• 00:58 Those will keep me from ever becoming an NBA star.
• 01:02 Now, enough of you buy this course, I become a billionaire.
• 01:05 Maybe I can buy a team, but that's different.
• 01:07 I will never star as a basketball player, because I don't have the talent,
• 01:13 the physical talents at all to do what it takes.
• 01:16 So many times in life, our perception of our weaknesses are actually correct.
• 01:23 I'm here to tell you, when it comes to being a great communicator,
• 01:27 it's not correct.
• 01:28 I have worked with tens of thousands of people all over the globe in person,
• 01:33 real life, for more than 30 years.
• 01:36 So I hear time and time again, people telling me TJ,
• 01:40 I'm not a good communicator.
• 01:42 I can't give good speeches or presentations for the following reasons.
• 01:46 I say too many ums.
• 01:49 I say too many uhs, ers.
• 01:52 I'm not good looking enough.
• 01:55 My accent is too southern, or too New York, or it's too Indian,
• 02:01 or it's too different from what people are used to.
• 02:06 People have this sense of all these problems that are holding them back.
• 02:10 People have told me I know I'll never be a good communicator,
• 02:14 because I have Bell's palsy and my face droops.
• 02:17 Meanwhile, no one else in the room even noticed it.
• 02:21 So in my experience, as individuals,
• 02:24 we come up with all sorts of reasons as to why we'll never be a great communicator.
• 02:30 I don't like my voice.
• 02:31 My voice is no good.
• 02:34 Here's what I found.
• 02:35 Working with training and studying with the top communicators, public speakers,
• 02:41 presenters, communicators, TV hosts in the world, none of that matters.
• 02:48 The things that make us great communicators,
• 02:51 it's not just we didn't say umm.
• 02:54 Some of the most successful highly paid TV stars in the world say uhh and umm constantly.
• 03:01 It's not necessarily about your looks.
• 03:04 Some of the most successful TV talk show host and
• 03:08 reality star host have less hair than I do, and are 30 years older than I am.
• 03:14 So it's not about being young and good-looking.
• 03:18 So I'm here to tell you, relax.
• 03:21 The things you think are making you a bad communicator really aren't.
• 03:27 Those are not your problems.
• 03:29 I'm not suggesting you don't have some challenges to overcome, but
• 03:33 it's a different set of problems.
• 03:37 Because trying to change your accent is really, really hard, and
• 03:41 can take hundreds of hours, sometimes thousands of hours.
• 03:47 Do you have an extra thousand hours?
• 03:50 Changing the tone of your voice is extraordinarily difficult.
• 03:54 I'm here to tell you, you don't have to do that.
• 03:57 I've seen masterful communicators who have high voices, low voices,
• 04:03 screechy voices, accents that are not considered desirable or attractive.
• 04:09 And these people are still great communicators.
• 04:12 So I want you, before we really dive in deeply in this course, to just kind of
• 04:18 set aside these preconceived notions you have about what's holding you back.
• 04:24 People are like, I move my hands too much.
• 04:27 I'm here to tell you I've worked with, again,
• 04:30 more than 10,000 people around the world face-to-face for 30 years.
• 04:34 I've never yet had an audience say about someone I'm training
• 04:39 their hands are moving too much, never once happened.
• 04:43 I do hear people say gosh, that person seems frozen, and stiff, and
• 04:47 scared, and nervous.
• 04:50 That I hear all the time.
• 04:52 So we're going to work on a number of issues to make you a better and
• 04:56 better communicator.
• 04:58 For right now, I just want you to relax.
• 05:02 If you've ever had one interesting conversation with one friend,
• 05:07 one family member, one colleague about one subject and you felt good about it, and
• 05:13 the person you were speaking with felt good about it, guess what?
• 05:19 You already have all the skills you need to be a great communicator.
• 05:24 We'll try to build those out, build your comfort level, so
• 05:28 you can do them in different situations.
• 05:31 But you don't have to learn a whole new accent or lower your voice perpetually.

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