Simple Ways to Show You're Listening

• 00:05 We talked about the eyes when it comes to listening,
• 00:07 what about the rest of your body?
• 00:09 For starters, you need sort of an open stance,
• 00:12 sitting or standing when you're listening to someone.
• 00:17 You don't want to be turned off to the side.
• 00:19 That may be fine for personal conversations, but for something important
• 00:25 in the workplace, you want to be facing the person and leaning in a little.
• 00:31 If you're talking in the hallway and your boss says something,
• 00:34 actually lean in a little.
• 00:36 If you're sitting down, hold yourself up high and lean forward.
• 00:41 You're not at home watching your favorite sporting event.
• 00:44 It's not about sitting back, being relaxed, feet on the chair, the table.
• 00:50 Hold yourself high, lean forward, less fidgeting the better.
• 00:53 Now, I don't want you to be a statue and frozen.
• 00:57 But your hands shouldn't be fidgeting, and playing with pans, and
• 01:02 making annoying sounds, things like that.
• 01:04 That should not be your focus.
• 01:07 Focus on being open, listening, not doing anything distracting.
• 01:14 By all means when you're speaking, move your hands, move your body.
• 01:18 And when you're listening to someone for the most part, you should be still, but
• 01:22 certainly, your face should be expressive.
• 01:26 Person says something interesting show that you're either surprised or intrigued.
• 01:32 Nodding is very key.
• 01:33 Now, you don't want to be this bobblehead doll and nodding the whole time.
• 01:38 But certainly, when you hear something, showing there's a key concept and
• 01:42 you understand it.
• 01:43 You agree with it.
• 01:44 You think it's important.
• 01:46 Nodding is very important, lets the person know that you are in fact there.
• 01:51 Now, there's a verbal equivalent to nodding when you're listening to someone
• 01:56 just over the telephone, or any other electronic form of communication.
• 02:02 And that is the yes, right, got it.
• 02:06 Doesn't really matter what you say, but you don't want them to think,
• 02:11 did I just get disconnected five minutes ago?
• 02:14 Occasionally, short little things letting people know that you got it.
• 02:18 And you can also do that when you are in person, if it's one on one.
• 02:23 But it's not as important if they can see you nodding in agreement,
• 02:28 nodding that you understand.
• 02:32 So keep the body language focused, open,
• 02:36 really attentive to what the person saying and you'll be in great shape.
• 02:43 I wouldn't spend a lot of time worrying about mirroring,
• 02:46 there's a whole school of thought out there says if the person speaking to you
• 02:50 is leaning this way, then you need to lean this way.
• 02:53 I just find for most people that over complicates things.
• 02:56 And to think about, they touch their finger like this.
• 02:59 So now, I'm going to touch my finger like this.
• 03:02 I understand there's some research people who really do like it, and believe it.
• 03:07 In my professional opinion, most people are not going to do that.
• 03:13 And it's a distraction, to try to focus on the whole mirroring thing.
• 03:17 As long as you're looking respectful, relaxed, pleasant, open,
• 03:22 nodding occasionally your body language will be fine.

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