Networking Without Self-Consciousness

• 00:05 So you're going to that networking event, a cocktail party, it could be at
• 00:09 an industry conference, could be at a convention and there's a networking event.
• 00:13 For a lot of people, this is nerve wracking,
• 00:16 you feel uncomfortable especially if you don't know anyone.
• 00:20 So what a lot of people do?
• 00:22 They get one drink and they're sort of sipping it, and they're kind of standing
• 00:25 in the corner, looking around, nervous and frankly, a little creepy.
• 00:30 You don't want to be that guy or that woman.
• 00:33 You also don't want to avoid what could be a perfectly good event,
• 00:37 something that could advance your career because you're uncomfortable and
• 00:41 you don't know what to do or what to say.
• 00:43 So here are some tips on how to use body language
• 00:48 in a more effective way when you're going to a network event.
• 00:51 For starters, as soon as you walk in, look like you're happy to be there.
• 00:55 Not a gigantic, fake smile, but just be up.
• 00:59 Good posture, a little bit of a smile on your face.
• 01:05 Look around and see if anyone is willing to give you eye contact.
• 01:10 Now if two people are close to each other and
• 01:14 they're having a very serious conversation,
• 01:17 you don't wanna just butt in, hi, my name is TJ and here's my business card.
• 01:20 No, you don't wanna do that.
• 01:22 You want to read the signals and
• 01:24 see are people open to someone else coming in and talking?
• 01:29 Is there an openness, do they have an open body language, or
• 01:33 are they two people closed off?
• 01:35 Don't invade their privacy if they're two good friends really catching up
• 01:40 on each other's lives.
• 01:41 But if you see other people smiling, milling about,
• 01:46 feel free to go up and make a little comment.
• 01:52 Say, isn't the food nice?
• 01:53 Having fun?
• 01:54 This is great.
• 01:56 Hi, my name is.
• 01:57 There's all sorts of things you can say.
• 02:00 It's not that any one thing is perfect, the thing is,
• 02:02 your body language needs to be open.
• 02:05 You need to exude the sense of I'm happy to be here, I'm having fun.
• 02:09 Here are some things to avoid.
• 02:12 You don't want to run right to the food,
• 02:16 get a big plate, fill it up, and then all your hands are filled up.
• 02:21 It's just too hard to meet people.
• 02:23 Your body language is saying hey, I'm hungry, I'm poor, I wanna get free food.
• 02:30 In fact, the best thing for networking events - eat before you get there or
• 02:35 plan on eating afterwards.
• 02:38 You want your hands free so
• 02:39 you can use that part of body language we talked about in the earlier lecture.
• 02:44 You want to be able to shake people's hands.
• 02:46 If they ask for your card or you ask for theirs, you wanna be able to get one or
• 02:51 to get theirs and put it in your pocket.
• 02:54 So the more your hands are free, the better.
• 02:58 Now let's talk about drinks.
• 03:00 I'm no teetotaller.
• 03:02 There is nothing wrong with a drink but if you're at a networking event,
• 03:06 make sure your drink is in your left hand if it's a cold drink.
• 03:09 Because if it's in your right hand, it makes your hand all cold and clammy and
• 03:14 it's just kind of weird when people feel it for that shake.
• 03:18 So keep your hand in your left hand and I don't want to be dogmatic or
• 03:23 give you an ironclad rule here, but in general, if it's an event
• 03:28 where you really think you're gonna be making important prospects,
• 03:33 maybe you're job hunting, I would even avoid alcohol on your breath.
• 03:40 Because, if people can smell the alcohol on you,
• 03:43 that may be the thing that sticks out in their memory.
• 03:46 Well we might want to invite this person in for a job interview,
• 03:49 but I just remembered this sort of rancid wine smell on their breath.
• 03:54 You could have had just a few sips.
• 03:56 Different people react in different ways.
• 03:59 You're safer just having water.
• 04:03 Seltzer water with a lemon or lime, that's the safest thing.
• 04:07 I don't want to be a killjoy.
• 04:08 I certainly enjoy a nice glass of wine, and have at many networking events.
• 04:13 But if the stakes are really high, you're really there for
• 04:19 business, and to talk to people and to really exchange
• 04:24 information, I would just go with seltzer water.
• 04:29 Forget the food, eat before or after and talk to people,
• 04:33 have conversations, be friendly, move around,
• 04:38 don't stalk people, don't stay in the corner and
• 04:42 try to talk to people who look like they're willing to be talked to.
• 04:48 If there's someone standing there eating, that's a perfect target.
• 04:52 Just walk up to them and make some small time chat, so
• 04:56 small chat and you'll be in good shape.
• 05:01 Don't worry about holding things in your hands.
• 05:04 Don't worry about I have to have a drink if the bar line is long.
• 05:08 Just go up and talk to people.
• 05:11 Move, a little bit of a smile on your face, do that and
• 05:15 your body language will help you in these networking events.
• 05:19 It won't make you look stiff or scared or uncomfortable, it won't scare people away,
• 05:24 it will draw people to you and that's exactly what you want.

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