Never Fall for These Communication Gimmicks Again!

• 00:04 I want to save you some time, money and heartache,
• 00:07 because there are a lot of people peddling a lot of gimmicks out there to turn you
• 00:12 into a better communicator.
• 00:14 And I think they're either completely worthless, or so difficult and
• 00:19 hard that they're just not practical.
• 00:22 So, for starters, there's something called tapping where people have this theory if
• 00:27 you just tap on your face often enough, you'll lose your fear and
• 00:30 become a better speaker.
• 00:32 Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
• 00:34 Beta blockers, again, you can take drugs so that you don't feel as tensed up.
• 00:41 But it can make you kind of look and sound like a zombie and
• 00:44 it doesn't cure the central problem of, you don't look comfortable and
• 00:48 you're not saying anything interesting.
• 00:51 So, I do not advise beta blockers.
• 00:55 For other people, they may want to use marijuana or alcohol.
• 00:57 I'm not opposed to those things, but
• 01:00 don't use them before you give a presentation or a speech,
• 01:04 because it's not really helping you come across more effectively to your audience.
• 01:10 It's just making you relaxed.
• 01:13 Well, if you're nervous,
• 01:14 it's typically because you haven't rehearsed your presentation on video.
• 01:20 Now, there's hypnosis to help people reduce their stress.
• 01:24 Again, I am not opposed to hypnosis.
• 01:26 I know it helps some people, not smoke, give up other bad habits.
• 01:32 But if all it's doing is helping you give up your fear of public speaking but you're
• 01:37 using that as an excuse not to rehearse on video, then it's a horrible idea.
• 01:43 NLP, neuro-linguistic program, some people are really good at it.
• 01:47 Anthony Robbins has made a whole career out of it.
• 01:49 I find most people, after about five minutes,
• 01:53 the idea of mirroring someone they tilted their head this way so I'll do that.
• 01:58 Most people just aren't going to do that.
• 02:00 It's just too much to think about when you're trying to have a conversation.
• 02:05 And I don't find it really as effective for many people at all.
• 02:10 Tiny percentage of people can actually discipline themselves to ever do that.
• 02:17 There's this craze started by someone who gave it,
• 02:20 the third most popular TED talk of all time, saying,
• 02:24 if you just stand like Wonder Woman and tell yourself how great and
• 02:28 powerful you are, that will reduce all of your tension and fear.
• 02:32 You'll now be able to give a great speech.
• 02:34 Again, horrible advice, because you can feel confident and
• 02:39 still give a lousy, boring speech.
• 02:43 Don't go for these superficial things that are just about you feeling better,
• 02:48 because you can feel great and
• 02:50 give the most boring speech anyone in your audience has ever heard.
• 02:55 You can feel great and the person interviewing you for
• 02:58 that job is thinking that you're asleep or on drugs.
• 03:02 So, it's not about you, you've heard me say this before, it's not about you.
• 03:07 That's the problem with all these solutions.
• 03:09 The NLPs, the face tapping, the beta blockers, it's all about poor little me.
• 03:17 I don't want to sound unsympathetic to you.
• 03:19 I am sympathetic to you.
• 03:21 I'm on your side.
• 03:23 But it doesn't help you if it just masks the problem.
• 03:29 If I tell you, I've got to go out and give a speech in the middle of Times Square and
• 03:33 I think I'll do it naked, but I feel embarrassed because I'm not in good
• 03:37 shape and I'm afraid I'm going to be arrested.
• 03:41 Are you going to tell me, well, TJ, visualize a standing ovation and
• 03:46 it won't be that bad?
• 03:48 And imagine the applause of the crowd.
• 03:51 Are you going to tell me that to make me feel good?
• 03:54 Or you're going to say, hey, TJ, why don't you put some clothes on?
• 03:59 I would hope and I would think that you would actually put
• 04:04 some clothes on, or tell me to put some clothes on.
• 04:09 Every other week someone pitches me with some app that's going to solve
• 04:13 all the problems, because it will tell you how many words per minute you spoke.
• 04:17 Well, you can speak at a consistent rate and still be awful.
• 04:24 Same with devices to get rid of your ums,
• 04:27 you can get rid of all of your ums and be an awful speaker.
• 04:32 All of these things are about attempting to solve one
• 04:36 little piece of the puzzle and often it makes it worse.
• 04:41 These days, I get pitched by people peddling virtual reality as a solution
• 04:45 to making people better speakers and reduce their fears.
• 04:49 We already have a technology to dramatically help you be a better speaker.
• 04:54 It's just your cell phone.
• 04:56 It's recording yourself on video.
• 04:59 All these other things are gimmicks.
• 05:02 At some point, will there be some new device, some new pill,
• 05:05 that will turn people magically into great speakers?
• 05:08 Maybe I'll be the first one to shout and endorse it and tell everyone,
• 05:12 don't take my courses anymore, just take that pill.
• 05:16 But I've never seen it happen and I keep looking for it so that you don't have to.
• 05:20 So, please I beg you, don't fall for these gimmicks.
• 05:25 If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
• 05:29 Now, holding your fingers a certain way,
• 05:33 visualizing people in their underwear, it just doesn't help at all.

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