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About this lesson
Our goal should be good communication, not perfect communication. So, focus on communicating ideas instead of preventing errors.
- 00:05 The first thing to realize about occasional verbal tics is that everybody,
- 00:10 and I mean everybody occasionally says umm, uhh, err, you know.
- 00:15 Saying it once in a while isn't really a problem,
- 00:18 it's only when you say so many that it stands out.
- 00:22 It's kind of like if you send someone a cover letter, and
- 00:23 there's an extra comma after every word in the first sentence, it's unnecessary, and
- 00:24 it will stand out as clutter.
- 00:25 But I do want you to put
- 00:30 things in perspective.
- 00:35 Quite often in my day job, which is doing public speaking workshops and
- 00:39 media training workshops with leaders all over the world.
- 00:43 I'll record someone, we'll play it back,
- 00:46 everyone in the room thinks they did a fantastic job in their presentation.
- 00:50 But the person who was speaking is like, DJ, it's awful,
- 00:55 I'm so embarrassed, it's pathetic, I said constantly.
- 00:59 We looked around, did anyone even notice?
- 01:02 No one noticed.
- 01:03 We played it back again.
- 01:05 The person said two ums in a period of 20 minutes, so it's not really a problem.
- 01:12 Now you may have a problem, I'm not trying to minimize it,
- 01:17 but don't be too harsh on yourself.
- 01:20 I know some people who never ever say uhh or umm.
- 01:25 The problem is, they're so boring with their presentations,
- 01:29 nobody remembers anything they said.
- 01:31 I also know some of the most famous media celebrities in the world,
- 01:37 former broadcasters like David Letterman here in the United States,
- 01:43 Martha Stewart, the home goddess guru.
- 01:46 What do those two have in common?
- 01:47 They say uhh, uhh, umm, constantly, every 20 second segment.
- 01:55 And yet they both made tens if not hundreds of
- 01:58 millions of dollars a year talking.
- 02:01 So, let's keep this in perspective.
- 02:04 It's far more important to have something interesting to say than
- 02:09 to never ever say uhh or umm.
- 02:11 Let's not fetishize it.
- 02:12 Yeah, I'm going to give you more tips on how to reduce your uhs and ums.
- 02:17 But our goal here is not perfection and never ever saying uhh and umm.
- 02:22 Our goal is actually good communication and
- 02:25 having the people we're speaking to have good feelings about us.
- 02:30 If you really want to reduce the ums, uhs, errs, and other verbal tics,
- 02:34 you're going to have to do something that seems contradictory.
- 02:37 I need you to stop focusing on not saying ahs and ums.
- 02:44 I need you to focus on actually communicating ideas of interest to
- 02:48 the person or people you're speaking to.
- 02:51 Think of it this way.
- 02:52 Now I'm not a golfer, but my golfing friends tell me if you go out on the golf
- 02:57 course and you just focus on not hitting in the sand trap, you're much more likely
- 03:03 to hit the sand trap than if you focus on pin, hitting the ball into the hole.
- 03:08 It's exactly the same way when it comes to public speaking, giving presentations,
- 03:14 talking to people in uncomfortable situations, or even leaving voicemails.
- 03:19 You need to focus on helping the person you're speaking to,
- 03:23 focus on giving them ideas that are interesting and useful.
- 03:28 Don't focus on I hope I don't say umm, I hope I don't say umm.
- 03:33 Focus on the ideas for your audience.
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