Isolate Exactly What is Wrong

• 00:04 So you follow the first step,
• 00:06 you figured out all the things this person is doing well, the more the merrier.
• 00:10 Make that list comprehensive, don't shortchange it.
• 00:15 Don't try to get as quickly as possible to the criticism,
• 00:18 even if the person is asking for it.
• 00:20 I'm telling you, it doesn't work.
• 00:22 But now that you've done all the praise, now that you've listed
• 00:27 every single thing they do well, now I want you to focus on one or
• 00:31 two things the person is really doing wrong where you need improvement.
• 00:38 They've gotta segue into that gracefully.
• 00:41 What I do with presentations is remind the person.
• 00:43 Okay, here are all your strengths,
• 00:45 you have good core set of communication strengths.
• 00:49 Now, let's talk about areas for improvement.
• 00:52 That's what I would recommend you too.
• 00:54 So if you're telling someone, hey, you have good communication skills in general.
• 01:00 Let's talk about how to improve your phone skills talking to angry clients or
• 01:04 angry customers.
• 01:06 It's a lot better than saying, my God, Fred,
• 01:10 you sound like a complete jerk talking to clients on the phone.
• 01:14 I wouldn't want to be one of our customers, if I had to deal with you.
• 01:18 Turn out maybe true, just too negative.
• 01:22 So summarize by saying they have good core strengths in whatever area it is
• 01:27 you're talking about, and then say, now, let's talk about an area for improvement.
• 01:35 An area for improvement sounds a lot more hopeful than you're an idiot.
• 01:39 You're doing it all wrong.
• 01:41 You're complete incompetent.
• 01:44 People like to pride themselves in being plainspoken and telling it like it is.
• 01:49 It just doesn't work.
• 01:50 I wish it did.
• 01:52 It just doesn't work.
• 01:53 Now, I'm not suggesting you sugarcoat things, but
• 01:57 I am suggesting that you place it in the right context and you set yourself up for
• 02:03 success and you set up the person you're trying to help for success.
• 02:09 So rather than saying, you're awful, let's deep personalize it a little.
• 02:13 Let's say, okay, here's an area for improvement.
• 02:18 If we could somehow reduce the ums and uhs that are coming out, you'll see much more
• 02:24 comfortable, you'll see more confident, notice how I said that.
• 02:29 I didn't say, you sound like a complete blathering idiot when every
• 02:34 other word is and not how I phrased it.
• 02:37 It's about here's the biggest area for improvement.
• 02:41 If fewer uhs and ums can come out during the presentation,
• 02:45 you'll sound more comfortable and confident.
• 02:48 So I'm clearly talking about what the problem is, but
• 02:52 I'm making it a little less personal.
• 02:55 Talking about it just as a process, these uhs and ums are coming up.
• 03:01 And then I talked about the benefits that will happen,
• 03:04 if this problem can be solved.
• 03:05 So that's my next challenge for you.
• 03:09 Don't try to tell someone a hundred things they're doing wrong or fifty things,
• 03:14 let's focus on one or two.
• 03:15 If someone you're working with really is doing everything wrong,
• 03:19 you should probably give them a pink slip and have them find employment elsewhere,
• 03:24 or suggest they go into another line of work.
• 03:27 You can't solve a problem where someone has absolutely no skills.
• 03:33 If I am joining your professional golf team and
• 03:35 you see me out on the golf course and you realize while teaching you,
• 03:39 you can't hit wood, you can't pitch, and you can't really pot.
• 03:42 You can't seem to shoot over fair less than 200.
• 03:46 You're probably not going to be a professional golfer.
• 03:48 There's not much you can do as for
• 03:50 constructive criticism to make me a professional golfer.
• 03:54 Now, of course, you could help improve my strokes or improve my game, but
• 03:58 you've gotta look at the big picture and what you're trying to accomplish.
• 04:03 And that's why I'm urging you focus on one or
• 04:08 two really specific things that the person is
• 04:12 doing wrong, that are correctable.
• 04:17 So focus on that.
• 04:18 That's your homework right now for one of the people you work with,
• 04:22 whether it's a boss, or a colleague, or an employee who reports to you.
• 04:26 Try to isolate and try to be able to talk about it in just a sentence or two.
• 04:31 What is the one really specific thing or
• 04:34 two really specific things that you want to focus on?
• 04:38 And what I'd recommend if there are more, if there are five or ten,
• 04:42 let's just talk about one at a time and
• 04:44 let's try to focus on improving those, rather than overwhelming the person.
• 04:49 Let's make incremental improvements,
• 04:51 we don't have to make every single improvement at once.
• 04:53 So that's your homework.
• 04:55 Pick one thing, write it down as to
• 05:00 what the person is doing wrong that's a problem.

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