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About this lesson
Asking questions should be about gaining clarity and understanding, not trying to make yourself look smart.
- 00:04 A lot of being a good active listener is about using judgment.
- 00:08 And I can't teach everyone the best judgment for
- 00:12 every situation in a course like this.
- 00:14 You're going to have to apply your own judgment based on the situation.
- 00:19 If your boss pops into your office or comes over to you and
- 00:22 you're part of the workspace.
- 00:24 And says, I'm late for a plane, I've got to be in a cab or an Uber in two minutes.
- 00:30 Really important, I need you to do these three things and
- 00:33 you can tell your boss is not looking for a big in depth conversation.
- 00:37 Your boss here,
- 00:38 she is just trying to communicate a couple of really specific urgent things.
- 00:43 Then listen, shake your head when you've got it.
- 00:47 If there's any uncertainty, ask one really specific question,
- 00:51 perhaps, as you're getting up to walk with them to the elevator.
- 00:56 But there are other times when it's not quite as urgent, you're seated,
- 01:01 it's a meeting, it's something important.
- 01:04 There's no set agenda when everyone has to leave.
- 01:08 You've already listened to the key points.
- 01:11 You've already expressed some sympathy, you've perhaps taken notes.
- 01:17 But now, it is perfectly fine to ask questions.
- 01:22 But let me challenge you when it comes to your questions.
- 01:26 Are you asking these questions to just show the person and
- 01:28 others in the room how smart you are?
- 01:32 If so, most people are pretty quick to figure that out.
- 01:36 And if you look like you're trying to look smart, you're not going to look smart.
- 01:40 You need to ask questions, because you genuinely want that person's insights.
- 01:48 That's the best way to ask a question and make sure it's about trying
- 01:53 to get greater clarity of what this person is trying to convey to you.
- 01:58 It's not about bringing in your own agenda,
- 02:01 it's not about showing people how smart you are.
- 02:04 It's not really to make a point showing you disagree with a person and
- 02:09 a rhetorical question.
- 02:11 It's not a question to make them look stupid, or bad or ill-prepared.
- 02:15 It's a question to really try to dig deeper into what their meaning is.
- 02:20 You do that and it's going to strengthen your abilities to be a keen listener.
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